Jumat, 10 Oktober 2008
gw gak nyangka aja bakalan denger hal ini suatu hari, dan suatu hari-nya itu adalah tadi malem..u know he is the guy that i always cried for, when i miss him, or when i cant face reality that he so far away, yeahhh...tifanny was right that love is blind, but i take the change and rest if am wrong let it be my mistake, well..the truth are told by someone that i NEVER expect, i mean she told me everything, even i dont get some words, but i know the bottom line from what she said..
I dont need advice today, lesson learnt just wanna move on and forget him forever..more becareful in the future, esp about man that know online, i wasnt think that am stupid, coz its love, but i dont want to defense my self and denied that i love wrong pesron, it can happend with anyone isnt it??
its realy painful here, in my heart, i never thought this is can be hapend..but it is happend, and i have to dealing with it, but i dont have trauma feeling when it comes about online relationship, i still have a faith that one day i will find someone who deserve my love neither online or real
this painful feel like when i split with my ex three years ago, i have same feeling, i even loose my apetite, he kills my apetite, maybe i can be skinny..ouwch i dont wanna look skinny, i still think, what i've heard last nite its just a dream, but when i check my mobile..i know its not!!!
he is my hope, i feel like he is my destiny, but he kill me slowly, am not cheat on him in real, i hav e alot in maya but not in real, its soo betrayal and maybe he not get that women too, or maybe he choose her and try to convince her not me..i need pain killer now..and look how many "kill" word that am using here..no way!! am not try to do suicide am not that shallow :p
im a bit relief now, even still wanna shout out or cry in my room, only me and my red tedybear..owh talking about that teddy..i still wondring where is aksan??he is my tru frenz that i know him online, who gave me those..but now he gone ..i hope he ok, wherever he is now..i misss that guy :( i even cant chatt with him anymore and owh my god, this is really really hurt me, i cannot hide this tears even from my customer..i wont cry but this tears came out without i tell them, and i dunno how to stop it..huaaaaahhhhhh!!!